Learning To Love By Accepting Others Love

There comes a time in everyone’s life where they are asked one of these questions. The first being, “What’s your enneagram?” and the other being, “What’s your love language?” Both are questions that can be simply answered in as few words as just saying a number or a few words, the question itself actually goes much deeper than just that. Typically when I’m asked these questions I sway towards the side that likes to answer in as few words as possible. For this blog, we are going to set the enneagram question aside and focus on love languages. I’ve found myself in many situations where someone would make a comment along the lines of, “oh you must love doing acts of service” or “wow, you

are so great at giving words of affirmation”. While I appreciate their comments and effort to try and make my “efforts” known, I don’t think we should just find one way of loving others well and strictly sticking to that. When this question comes up if you show any kind of hesitation or uncertainty in your answer most will tell you to take the quiz. Yes, this quiz can help you maybe learn and discover what you are best at giving and receiving but the answer the quiz gives you should not be the end all be all. When I took the quiz it told me that I best receive love from others through spending quality time with them. While to an extent this may be true, it also so heavily depends on the person who I’m receiving from. This also not taking into consideration the season of life I’m in and the situation that I am in.

Just because an online quiz tells you you accept one form of love best does not mean that you should only accept love from others in that form. It wasn’t until recently that I realized that sometimes the best way for me to love someone well might just consist of me letting them love me in a way that they enjoy doing so. I’m someone who is very independent and I like doing things by myself. All this to say, I don’t accept acts of service very well from others. The “problem” arises when I become close friends with someone who loves to serve their friends well through acts of service. Do I choose to get irritated when they try and love me well in a way that they are good at doing or do I choose to die to myself and my own preferences and just let others love me the way they love best? This is a tough question that I find myself battling often. This is when I circle back to the point that we should learn to love others well in all ways and accept love in all ways. It’s okay to have one that you’re best at. It’s okay to have a preference. We are all created and wired differently. At the end of the day, if someone is actively trying to love you...sometimes the best thing you can do is just allow them to do that whatever that may look like. Learn to love others well by simply just choosing to accept their way of giving it.

Link to the Quiz: https://www.5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/